The Role of Caregiver
Falling into the role of caregiver can easily creep up on you without realizing it. All of a sudden you can be overwhelmed with the demands of caring for your loved one and also taking care of yourself and your own family. Gradually you find yourself doing more and more, filling prescriptions, taking care of Doctor Appointments, laundry, preparing more and more meals. Caregiving is very challenging. Boundaries slowly disappear when you are a family member, the responsibility and expectations become really high.
Parents come to depend on you more and more and can get more demanding as their needs grow.
Some of the telltale signs that your parent(s) need help:
Mail and bills are left to pile up opening the mail becomes too much, paying bills overwhelming so it’s all put aside with the intension of getting to it later.
Unkempt house – This is so unlike your parents who always kept a clean and tidy house.
Food in the refrigerator is outdated and spoiled. Another overwhelming task
Poor diet or weight loss
Disheveled or food stained clothing
Trouble getting up from a seated position
Poor personal hygiene
Unexplained bruising
Forgetting to take medication
Missing important appointments.
The Caregiving Spouse
Being the caregiver for your spouse is a job that often comes with its own unique set of challenges, sometimes it feels like a privilege. Sometimes it feels like the most difficult task on the planet.
As a caregiving spouse, you may begin to feel very isolated from friends and feel tremendous guilt about your own unmet needs. There can also be a sense of loss, especially if your spouse suffers from dementia or Alzheimer's disease.
So how do you know if caregiving is becoming too risky for you? Examine this list and see how many apply to you even if you are only experiencing a couple of those items, it’s important to get help.
Missing or delaying your own doctor appointments
Not eating a healthy diet due to lack of time
Too busy to keep up with exercise
Losing sleep
Losing connections with friends
Feeling sad, down, depressed or hopeless
Loss of energy
Feeling resentful toward your spouse
Feeling that people ask more of you than they should
The Journal of American Medical Association reports that if you are a spousal caregiver between the ages of 66 and 96, and are experiencing ongoing mental or emotional strain as a result of your caregiving duties, there's a 63% increased risk of dying over those people in the same age group who are not caring for a spouse.
The truth is your spouse/partner/parent will be in better hands if you are healthy.